You let them in thinking,
“It’s okay this time, they will stay.”
They end up leaving.
But only after taking and taking.
Till what’s left of you,
Is an empty husk of the person you once were.
So you keep trying,
Till your heart becomes as dead the night.
As cold as the winters you hate,
Till there is a spark.
Only to discover that there is none.
The only thing you allow yourself to feel,
Is the faint resignation from within,
That you were always wrong,
And she was always right.
It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted here and I’ve decided that since I want to grow as a writer and have a more healthier means of venting my stress & frustration – I will try and update my blog more frequently.
You say that it’s all going to change,
You’re going to get better.
You’re going to be stronger.
You say we’re friends, you say we’re sisters,
So why do I feel like you don’t mean that?
Why does it sound like lies?
You’re only love me when you’re scared,
Only when you’re angry and alone.
You say we’re best friends, but it feels like a convenient lay.
Why is it that I’m the one to pick you up?
Stick you together when you’re a mess.
When all you ever do is just use me in the end.
I’m not going to talk you, till you talk back.
I’m not going to chase you, till you chase me.
I’m tired, so leave me alone.
Sometimes it just seems that all I ever do is lie.
That’s like my best talent really – lying. Which is why if it came down to me picking a career for myself – I would either pick being a spy or a lawyer, since I can lie without even feeling bad about it.
You tell yourself that you don’t care.
You tell yourself that deep down that whoever’s left you behind, hurt you, and given up on you – that they don’t matter. At least, not any more.
Through all this you live,despite being stabbed repeatedly and being held against your will – you live. You fight, and you survive – because there is no one else who can save you.
There is no one to fight your battles and win the war.
This post is dedicated to my two friends who always seem to be in some sort of tussle and I get caught in the middle of it.