I’m scared of being a parent.
In fact, I’m terrified of being a parent.
Coming from a society that tells you to bite your teeth and endure even when the world is burning around you – you’d be scared to procreate and make someone like you. Growing up, I had an alright childhood – we weren’t very rich nor were we very poor and even if we couldn’t afford the privileged comforts most kids had, we were satisfied.
You let them in thinking,
“It’s okay this time, they will stay.”
They end up leaving.
But only after taking and taking.
Till what’s left of you,
Is an empty husk of the person you once were.
So you keep trying,
Till your heart becomes as dead the night.
As cold as the winters you hate,
Till there is a spark.
Only to discover that there is none.
The only thing you allow yourself to feel,
Is the faint resignation from within,
That you were always wrong,
And she was always right.